Working my way to Derby Bus Station Central, it appears that I have missed the omnibi (is this a correct plural?) to Moorways, so I summon a taxi, and spend the duration of the journey attempting to assess the 104 yards that each 10 pence worth of taxi-journey is supposed to charge. If you ask me (and most people do) it would seem that the 10p ratchets up on the metre each 50 metres or so, but I am not in the mood/position to dispute this, and pay the £7 fare without quibble upon arrival at the Moorways Athletic Centre.
It seems that the subject of much debate is my intestinal reaction to the Chicken Vindaloo and Chilli Naan that I ingested last night, and I am pleased to say with no deception whatsoever that it has agreed with me admirably. PDC supremo Tommy Cox decrees on the tannoy that I am to mark Board 15 today, and with much haste, I make my way there to officiate to the best of my ability.
First up, Jamie Caven has received a bye, on account of him being 3rd seed for the day. Apparently this has caused a modicum of rumbling, amongst those who rumble purely for excrements and giggles - if there are just 125 entrants in a round of 128, then the top 3 seeds must get a bye to the next round - simples! This means that the 1st match to be played is :
1st Round (Last 128)
Louis Blundell 6 James Richardson 3
I arrive at the board, and Louis is chomping at the bit to get things started, so much so that I am led to believe that the bull shoot-out has already taken place. It hasn't, but Louis wins it regardless, and we're off. Both are speedy throwers, so a very lively game ensues, with high scoring by both players. Louis is truly in the mood though, and prevails 6-3. A word about James, though - he sure can score, and will progress through many a round to come, mark my words.
John Henderson 6 Jelle Klaasen 1
And thus fate did decree that the 9 dart hero of yesterday was assigned to my board again today. A little banter occurred at the start as ever, where I check with Jelle that I have spelled his surname correctly, and he pleasingly confirms that I have done so - 2 L's, 2 A's and 1 S! Once battle begins, it immediately becomes apparent that John has once again brought his A game to this encounter, again threatening as if he may hit another 9-darter at will at any time.
Prakash Jiwa 6 Mick Todd 5
Amazingly, Prakash is the first ever ethnic-Indian player to be a PDC tour member, and after a excellent run to the last 32 yesterday, he gets matters off to an excellent start today with a nail-biting win over another newcomer Mick Todd. Mick is what may be classed as a methodical (slow) thrower, so someday he, Justin Pipe, Dennis Priestley, Michael Barnard, Dennis Smith and Colin Osbourne will all be drawn on the same board, and the tournament will run until 11pm. Speed aside, Mick is a fantastic player, with an ultra-solid throw, and he's a gentlemen at the oche to boot, and although he may have just missed out this time, his opportunity will come anon.
2nd Round (Last 64)
Jamie Caven 6 Louis Blundell 2
Yesterday's champion is now called into action, and even against the impressive talent of Louis Blundell, he is not required to accelerate to 2nd gear, claiming an effortlessly deserved win.
Prakash Jiwa 6 John Henderson 2
All-a-sudden, John turns off the style, and Prakesh takes full advantage, taking out many a crucial double. It is a shame to mark John in a losing match so soon in the day, but I think I have firmly established myself as one of his lucky markers. Fair play to Prakesh though, who will play himself into a televised spot or two if he continues this form.
3rd Round (Last 32)
Jamie Caven 6 Prakesh Jiwa 0
Here, Jabba delivers an absolute masterclass in darts - hitting big scores, and taking out doubles clinically. Pleasingly, he is an absolute gentleman at the oche too - if I don't instantly know what the score is (due to an awkward lie), he will instinctively know to utter it, and keep the game flowing.
It's not yet 2pm, but my duties for the day are done, allowing me time to sit back, relax, and enjoy the coffee, of which I have none, which is just as well, as I neither have any of Debbie Caven's delicious-looking baked treats, which have been encircling the room with enticing aplomb.
The kindness of darts folk comes to the fore in double measure now, as fellow marker Steve offers to ship my 9-dart board to Dublin on one of his lorries, saving me £40 in Ryanair baggage charges - fair play to ya Steve! Then, Bruce offers me a lift to East Midlands airport, allowing me to avoid a perilous duet of bus journeys into town and onwards to the aerodrome. I can't take this kindness!
Punctuality allows me to attack the quiz machines in the airport, and this proves to be utterly unwise, as I surrender £5.50 and merely retrieve £4 - gambling doesn't pay, kids! Time now to board the flight home to Dublin, and I am incapable of failing to notice the enormous capacity of an all-too-large proportion of Irish people to moan at any given opportunity - these people very knowingly signed up to the low-cost frills of Ryanair, and paid an appropriate fare, but then adopt the guise of royalty by complaining at any given opportunity - "it's a bleedin' disgrace that we have to queue", "it's a bleedin' nuisance we have to get on a bus", "deese steps are shockin' wobbly", that sort of twaddle.
Via the magicality of Ryanair timeliness (yes, the hideous bugle sounded yet again, but I have cast this from my mind) and Aircoach efficiency, I am back in the Lighthouse for 9.30pm - huzzah! Upon arrival home, I am overjoyed to receive confirmation that Simon "Dunnezer" Dunne, has completed 50 days of abstinence from alcohol - fair play to ya Sir, and keep it up - One Day At A Time!
Another excellent Ryanair safety demonstration
Contentment : 12 / 25
Excitement : 2.5 / 10
Memorability : 3.5 / 15
Overall Score : 36% (21st out of 51)
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