Day 210 - Friday, July 29th, 2011

I Heart Crabbie Patties

The Happy Hours Bill of Fare At Michael's

Blessed amongst women, outside Michael's

Maples' Gratis Lunch Buffet once again delivered untold deliciousness today, with the most delightful chilli crab cakes wit rice an' bean, preceded by outstandingly delicious chicken pasta soup. Earlier my faithful automobile Herbert The Hoover felt hungry for the first time, so was treated to a fill-up, affording the chance to reveal the first thing that is cheaper here in Cayman - petrol - which was CI$1.22 (€1.06) per litre. No wonder the roads are thronged with cars all day long!

The working week came to its glorious end, resulting in a one-man stampede to Michael's for their Happy Hours. As these Happy Hours run from 4.30pm to 6.30pm, there was no time to lose upon arrival at 5.50pm, and the next 40 minutes saw the consumption and/or ordering of two pint bottles of Nuremburg's finest Weissbier (Heche Tucher Weizen) and a Napili - reserve Bacardi, Grand Marnier, fresh pineapple juice and sage. The former were delicious, the latter I could take or leave, despite the promising ingredients. A mini Angus Burger and some falafel were also enjoyed, with the bill coming in at CI$28 (€24).

During this fine food 'n drink fest, I had been joined by Mel, Gretchen, JP and his maman who arrived last night for her first trip to Cayman to see her son's new hinterland, and with whom I engaged in excellent bilingual conversation whilst her son and daughter-in-law fawned over a pair of dogs for over half-an-hour! Mel and I adjoined to Abacus whilst 'tothers went to dine and we were joined by Alex and Ray for beers and outstanding banter, which ranged from Cayman living to what defines a psychopath to horrific US reality television programmes.

After some brief refuelling at Wendy's, the next port-of-call was the Triple Crown pub, which was ultra-lively and heaving with people "enjoying" the karaoke. Mel wowed the audience with a stunning rendition of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun whilst I delivered versions of La Bamba and Unchained Melody, which prompted (another) Alex, from England's West Country, to introduce himself and invite me to join an acapella group of which he was a member. I explained that I would be off-island in a fortnight, but will mosey along on Tuesday to help temporarily stymie their devastating tenor crisis.

Sometime after midnight, we headed to Elements nightclub, but there was a beastly queue, which I don't do, and it didn't appear to be moving, so the decision was made to call it an excellent night.

Contentment : 17 / 25
Excitement :    4 / 10
Memorability : 4.5 / 15

Overall Score : 51% (24th out of 210)

Day 209 - Thursday, July 28th, 2011

At workday's end we made our way, via five-minute drive, to Ugland House, home of our parent company Maples & Calder, for an hour of presentations followed by convivial drinks in the Law Library - I should have got my phone out to take a picture of its glorious old-world grandeur but I self-decreed that it would have been most uncouth. Over champagne, sushi, strawberries and other assorted nibbles, the conversation ranged from the inability to buy a decent pair of men's shoes on the island (my apparently-snazzy pair prompted this particular dialogue) to the utterly different mindset and efficiency of an Indian MBA post-graduate.

Whilst leaving my boss home afterwards (for I hadn't over-indulged on the champers), I passed by this mansion which took my breath away, even by Cayman standards. Karen told me that it was owned by a 35-year-old guy (later named as Jerry Beck - thanks JP!)  who made his money writing options algorithms for Salomon Smith Barney and now lives off the royalties. He is married now but used to hang around with general Cayman folk in bars and restaurants and apparently was always the last to get his round in - typical! The "house" is valued at US$60 million (€42 million) and the view from the Caribbean can be seen in the picture below, but the amazing thing is that the house is right beside a public road with no security gates so there is obviously no fear of intruders or burglars, but then this *is* the Caymans....

Unswayed by such decadence, I returned home to feast on the brought-home chicken leftovers from last night's Casanova feast, with a couple of peanut-butter sandwiches, and jolly tasty it was too. Historic times, as it meant that I had racked up a total of $0 in expenses during the day - huzzah for fiscal prudence!

 
What a Dump!


Standard Living Area

http://www.housetodesign.com/2011/03/02/luxury-mansion-like-five-star-hotel/

Contentment : 16.5 / 25
Excitement :    3 / 10
Memorability : 4.5 / 15

Overall Score : 48% (45th out of 209)

Day 208 - Wednesday, July 27th, 2011

I noticed that the Treasure Island resort had a Texas Hold 'Em night each Wednesday so decided to go along, and wasn't disappointed. Free entry to the relaxed-style tournament and 4 bottles of CayBrew cost a mere CI$18 (€15). There were 34 entrants on 4 tables, and the house rules stated that whoever went out first at each table had to get the rest of the table a round - costly in these here parts! Not only did I manage to avoid that (thank you Crazy Kirk for the extra CayBrew!), I also reached the final table and came a respectable 5th, for which I won nothing, as there was just one prize of a CI$50 bar tab and entry to the Grand Final with CI$1500 in prizes.

The tournament started at 7pm sharp and my participation ended just after 9pm, meaning that I had time to dash to Casanova for some scran, in the shape of Scallops for starers (ultra-nice) and marinated chicken fillets with potatoes and vegetables for mains, washed down eminently with a glass of shiraz.

   
Nice venue for a poker tourney

Contentment : 16 / 25
Excitement :    3 / 10
Memorability : 3.5 / 15

Overall Score : 45% (63rd out of 208)

Day 207 - Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

Guy Harvey's was the new and exciting restaurant venue enjoyed this evening - a fabulously buzzy joint with a bar and restaurant enjoying elevated views of the Caribbean sunset. The outdoor area nearest the sea was booked for a private wedding shower function for about 20 ultra-glamourous (and likely ultra-rich) bods, causing consternation to a middle-aged peroxide dame at the table beside me. She amusingly proceeded to witter on to her suffering husband about it for the entire duration of the meal. I enjoyed a(nother) Caprese Salad  for starters and the CI$10 (€8.80) main course special of the day - Crab Cakes and Chips. The crab cakes were tastylicious but afforded room for a Chocolate Tart dessert that was utterly luscious. With 2 zesty Mojitos, the bill with service came to CI$52 (€45) - had I not exercised fiscal prudence with the special, it would have been an extra CI$20 on top of that - chic cuisine does not come cheap in the Caymans!

 

Contentment : 15.5 / 25
Excitement :    2 / 10
Memorability : 3 / 15

Overall Score :  41% (92nd out of 207)

Day 206 - Monday, July 25th, 2011

In my fortnight on Grand Cayman, I have grown accustomed to a number of things - firstly, the heat, which I can definitely withstand a cuple of degrees more of now. Next, the pace of driving - on most of the island, the speed limit is as low as 25 or 30 miles per hour, and most people adhere to it, which takes getting used to. Even my delightful yellow Subaru Hairdryer screams out to be driven faster. One thing that I have not gotten used to is the horrific television channels here - practically all American, naturlich. There seems to be dozens of trashy gossip channels, with each reality show more insipid than the last, so despite there being no less than 3 televisions in my apartment, I don't watch any of them very much.

High domestic excitement this evening with a successful attempt at using the giant washer dryer here in 1 Grand Caymanian. I stalled for a half-hour trying to figure out where the washing powder, then threw caution to the wind and put it directly in the washer with the clothes. It turns out that was the correct thing to do (thank you Aidan, Karen, Kirsty and Michele for confirming afterwards, via Facebook). Straight into the dryer afterwards and hey presto, all clean and dry!

                                           Presenting the 1 Grand Caymanian Washer Dryer!
Contentment : 15 / 25
Excitement :    1 / 10
Memorability : 2.5 / 15

Overall Score : 37% (113th out of 206)

Day 205 - Sunday, July 24th, 2011

"Grey skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!", quoth the ditty, and with life imitating art, the skies turned blue, making possible another weekend trip to Seven Mile Beach, where I even managed my first piece of physical exercise in over 3 weeks - a 2 kilometer or so jog along the waterline. The sun was ultra-strong, necessitating frequent lengthy dips into the warm clear Caribbean waters. Back at the Grand Caymanian ranch, i became clear that liberal doses of P20 sun lotion had not prevented considerable burnage on the feet, neck and shoulders, but I have at least 6 days before the next possible mass sun exposure, so there'll be plenty of time for the rouge to subside and semi-convert into some sort of brown.

A welcome change of pace for dinner, in the guise of Thai Spice, with a d'lish Mango and Papaya salad for starters and kai prik (spicy chicken and rice) for mains. The considerably effeminate waiter was instructed to ensure that the dish was as spicy as humanly possible and naturally 'twas nowhere near such a state.

A magnificent self-portrait

                                                                7 Mile Beach

Contentment : 16 / 25
Excitement :    2.5 / 10
Memorability : 4.5 / 15

Overall Score : 46% (56th out of 205)

Day 204 - Saturday, July 23rd, 2011

Even in Cayman the weather was grey and gloomy - in sympathy perhaps with the horrific events of yesterday, the full horror of which has now come to light, with over 80 teenagers shot dead in Norway by an idiotic hate-filled xenophobe, who also bombed Government Buildings in Oslo earlier, killing at least 7 people. I hope they lock him up in solitary confinement for the rest of his days, feeding him curried dishes and exposing him to nothing but Bollywood movies, recitations of the Koran and constant evidence that Norway is becoming an even more multi-cultural and inclusive place. Unbelievable that somene who is convinced in their own mind that he is better than other people is actually a low-life disgusting toe-rag.

I headed out in the rain in the afternoon, by car, and dined in Chicken Chicken, which according to itself, serves The Greatest Chicken In The World and like every other restaurant in North America and the Caribbean that makes such lofty claims, it actually does nothing of the sort.  A quarter-chicken with mashed potato, coleslaw and corn-bread (sponge cake) with "Home-made" "lemon"ade cost CI$12 (€10.50) and appropriately enough was fairly fowl (snigger).

Evening time now, and it's off to Heliconia in the Camana Bay precinct for a Blue Jack Night - a fund-raising event for which Maples had sponsored 20 CI$50 tickets, one of which I was a grateful recipient. The "charity" was the Cayman Branch of the United World College foundation, which gathers together Leaving Cert/A Level/High School Final Year students from all over the world to attend school in UWC colleges in Canada, Swaziland, Wales, the US and other locations. As coincidence would have it, my sister Olivia received a two-year scholarship to the Lester B. Pearson UWC college on Vancouver Island back in the 90's, and her Caymanian classmate Sacha was here this evening, in purely an attendance capacity.

So with each free ticket came a glass of champagne and $25 worth of gambling chips for use at the blackjack and poker tables. I enjoyed an hour's blackjack at the delightful Aubrey's table, and $25 became $35, which could be used on making bids for various silent auction items ranging from a Lady Gaga CD, to works of art, to dinner with the attention-loving and highly self-important Orchid, chairperson of the Caymanian UWC committee, who enjoying drowning out the room every five minutes with inane and usually highly clique-ish announcements. I instead opted for $10 Golden Nuggets, each of which had a number linked to a mystery lucky-dip prize, and I bought some extra ones besides, seeing as I hadn't actually contributed any of my own money to date. My swag included a CI$25 go-karting voucher, a CI$25 coffee-shop voucher, two UWC t-shirts (pure joy!), a bottle of Pina Colada mix (just add rum), an underwater disposable camera and a CI$10 vocuher for my favourite Cayman restaurant - Casanova! Magnificent success!

Fair play to all concerned - the night must have raised many thousands of dollars from the sponsorships, auction bids and the busy cash bar, offering some of the most reasonable drink prices on the island, such as a bottle of Heineken for CI$4 (€3.40), a number of which I very much enjoyed. Knowing that everything shuts down at midnight in the Caymans, I left a little before the end and grabbed a Papa John's Chicken Peppers and Onion pizza, where the smallest available size was a dang large 12 inches for CI$15 (12.75), and back at the Grand Caymanian, I managed to wolf half of it down.


Wishing Norway all possible strength

Contentment : 14 / 25
Excitement :    2.5 / 10
Memorability : 5.5 / 15

Overall Score : 44% (70th out of 204)

Day 203 - Friday, July 22nd, 2011

Much to report on today, with accompanying pictorial evidence, starting with yet another awesome Maples lunch - Cream of Mushroom soup, 1/2 pounder cheeseburger with giant wedges and salad accompaniments, and chocolate profiteroles, with added Floridian liquid refreshment. Outstanding!

Whilst driving home after work, I captured photographic proof of the chicken outside Kentucky Fried Chicken, mentioned some days ago, to end the pronouncements of dubiousness from Doubting Thomas aka Corbett Cutts. In yo FACE, Cutzmeister!

Thankfully JP (my sole access facilitator to the Caymanian social scene, for in truth it's a cliquey sort of an island) ditched plans to be a boring gym-rat this evening, opting to head to stylish cocktail bar Abacus for "Happy" Hour, which consisted of pints of lager for CI$5 (€4.25) until 7pm, after which they reverted to their normal CI$6.50 (€5.50) price. But Adam's head needed to be wetted, so the horses were not spared! Banter was excellent, and I got introduced to the lovely Mel from Montreal, who was celebrating her Deloitte & Touche promotion, and vivacious Veronique, a nanny from Eindhoven, who is busying herself currently with fending off the unwanted amourous advances of her lecherous employer. I also correctly guessed Brendan Rainonen's Irish and Finnish parentage, purely from his name.  

Caymanians love to rove across the island to visit many drinking establishments, rather than settle down in one, and there appears to be no reticence about doing so in one's automobile - one of the island's many American influences. So off we sped to Karma, a bar pretty much like any other one, except that it is the anointed cool place from the hours of 9 to 12, attracting the large crowd that many seem to crave. Banter was good there also - I had a great chat with a Caymaian native who told me all about the island, particularly its food - a subject close to everyone's hearts here, and I learned that the Conch I ate in Florida airport shouldn't have tasted like rubbery calmari, and that turtle steak tastes like beef.

Onwards again!, well ahead of Karma losing its cool status, back to Elements nightclub for another Friday night's action, where complimentary admission was arranged courtesy of Gretchen, who was performing there (splendidly) once again. The choons were good and the screwdrivers strong! 

"Dining" at Abacus

                         Interesting decor in the male restroom cubicle - 2 choices for sitting on the throne!

Good Karma with JP & Gretchen

Gretchen in podium action, watched by her proud less-better half

Contentment : 17 / 25

Excitement :    3 / 10

Memorability : 4.5 / 15

Overall Score : 49% (38th out of 203)



Day 202 - Thursday, July 21st, 2011

Yes, the first photo of Nephew Adam and he looks very like his Dad, with a smattering of Mum thrown in, and unless his bib is very much lying to us, he has already developed a strong paternal bond. Quite amazing that he was housed in his mother's womb just 24 hours earlier - Mother Nature, you never fail to amaze.
Meanwhile, back at the Grand Caymanian, there is precious little to report - another day at work, another fine complimentary buffet lunch, featuring Chicken Curry as the star Main Course, and another dinner at Casanova restaurant, where the Beef Carpaccio and spaghetti meatballs were d'lish, washed down with a glass of shiraz and a complimentary glass of port. It seems to be the venue where birthday boys and girls go - in the 3 or so hours that I have spent there (over 2 nights), the waiters have been busy doing their Happy Birthday schtick on no less than 4 occasions, so of the 150 Cayman residents who have a birthday each day, quite a significant proportion seem to end up at Casanova's!

Contentment : 15 / 25
Excitement :    2 / 10
Memorability : 3 / 15

Overall Score : 40% (97th out of 202)

Day 201 - Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

Within an hour of it occurring, I received word from brother Austin that baby Adam was born to Joanne and him, at 2.42pm in The Coombe hospital, weighing in at 8 pounds 4 ounces, and every bit as healthy as it sounds. One of the happy by-products of such a joyous event is that it makes me an Uncle for the first time, and the eyes became a little moist at the confirmation that all had gone so well. I spoke later to a shattered-but-thrilled sounding Austin who gave some details of the epic but triumphant process that is the labour process and confirmed that Mother and Son were doing great.

By way of celebration, Maples lunch today was even more impressive than usual, with crackingly good fresh tomato and basil soup, and ultra-tasty chilli con carne. And today, there was time after work to grab an hour on the beach to catch a few rays and watch the sunset before darkness at 7.30pm - novel or what?

After a shower and change back at 1 Grand Caymanian, I walked the two miles to the Royal Palms beach bar, for a pizza and a glass of wine CI$23 (€20) amidst the buzzy atmosphere created by a large crowd and an open-air DJ on the decks. The two mile journey home along Seven Mile Beach in the 85 degree heat and 90% humidity ensured that shirt and jeans were soaking upon arrival back at the apartment - tough stuff, but a source of much-needed exercise!

My Maples Free Lunch - tasty and (fairly) healthy!

Sunset at Seven Mile Beach

Pretty as a Picture

Contentment :  17.5 / 25

Excitement :     5.5 / 10

Memorability : 7 / 15

Overall Score : 60% (3rd out of 201)

Day 200 - Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

200 days a-blogging! Tougher work to keep it going than you'd think, but it'll be cool to look back when the year is done. Thanks to everyone for reading (nearly 9,000 hits to date) and here's to 165 more until completion!

This has turned into a foodie blog of late, as in truth there is not a whole lot to do in the Caymans after work hours, except eat, drink and relax. Tonight saw another return to Paradise - the cocktail of the day (on special at CI$4) was the Mojito, which got me quite excited, but the chappie who concocted this particular one focused more on the lime pips and syrup than on bacardi or rum, alas - boo-urns! Having enjoyed steak of the utmost taste and quality for lunch (with asparagus and rice an bean), I decided to be a little different for dinner, and order steak with asparagus and rice an bean. Is it wrong to eat steak twice in one day? Yes, it probably is.

 
Paradise Restaurant, George Town

Contentment : 14.5 / 25
Excitement :    1 / 10
Memorability : 1 / 15

Overall Score : 33% (101st out of 200)

Day 199 - Monday, July 18th, 2011

You snooze, you lose, goes the adage, and this applies to lunchtime at Maples, for while there is plenty to go around, any particularly nice dish gets hoovered up lickety-split, so when I arrived to the kitchen at 12.20, twenty minutes after its official beginning, one of the two hot mains was gone, leaving me with Jerk Caribbean chicken, which was in displeasing non-breast format, causing me to focus almost exclusively on salad items.

All of this gave me something of a rare occurrence in the evening - slight hunger, and this was very much satisfied at local shore-side restaurant Paradise, where Chicken Curry and a mudslide were enjoyed for CI$17 (€15) including tip - (relative) bargain! The mudslide (vodka, Kahlua, Baileys and cream) was my first ever, and way more delicious than expected, most probably because of the vast amounts of alkyhol within.

Despite taking a regime of B12 (or is it B2? I can't remember - the one that I'm not taking helps pregnancy) tablets to counteract them, a few persistent mosquitoes have managed to bite - one on the lower lip, one behind the ear, one in the neck. I would probably get dozens of bites without the tablets, so mustn't grumble, but they are dang itchy......

 
One of the flavours that didn't cross the Atlantic - not fair

Contentment : 14.5 / 25
Excitement :    1 / 10
Memorability : 1.5 / 15

Overall Score : 34% (98th out of 199)

Day 198 - Sunday, July 17th, 2011

I arose early to watch the entire final round of the British (Golf) Open, early as Cayman is 6 hours behind Royal Sandwich in Kent where it took place. After a good start and then a considerable surge from Phil Mickleson, Ulsterman Darren Clarke triumphed joyously to become the 3rd Northern Irishman in the space of just over a year to win a Major - huzzah!

There was still plenty of time to do some island exploring and that I jolly well did, with a meandering hour long drive across the south coast and then up north and west again, to Rum Point, lauded by many as one of the island's highlights, but one which didn't really impress me. A lot of bamboo parasols, fully occupied by people drinking overpriced cocktails at CI$10 (€8.50) a pop, with little or no beach area. I hopped back in the car more or less straight away, and made a beeline back to tried and trusted Seven Mile Beach for more ray-catching. Aaaaaaahhhhhh, that's more like it!

Having gorged myself stupid of late, today's cuisine was a modest Wendy's half-pounder and chips for lunch-cum-dinner, and naturally it was fairly foul.


Rum Point looks nice here, but everywhere around it was too packed

Heritage Beach, off the beaten track

Contentment : 16 / 25

Excitement :    3.5 / 10

Memorability : 3 / 15

Overall Score : 45% (52nd out of 198)

Day 197 - Saturday, July 16th, 2011

After several lively weekends in a row, 'twas time to kick back and relax, island style, and what better way to do so than with a short drive to Seven Mile Beach, for intensive lazery and bronzification on the powder-sand beach, with frequent dips into the warm clear Caribbean water - heavenly stuff!

After a few hours of that, back to 1 Grand Caymanian for more chillage, and the evening got no more hectic that a 20-yard wander down to Paradise restaurant on the shore-line, where caprese salad, Cayman Style Snapper (spiced up with Scotch Bonnet peppers) wit rice an bean, and a glass of vino were very much enjoyed, despite the ludicrous bill of CI$45 (€38) including service, not that I'm ultimately bearing the expense personally.

Beastly, filthy Seven Mile Beach

Contentment : 17 / 25

Excitement :    3 / 10

Memorability : 4 / 15

Overall Score : 48% (41st out of 197)

Day 196 - Friday, July 15th, 2011

As if it were possible, today's (still free) buffet lunch was the most sublime of the week, with ultra-d'lish lasagne and pasta on the hot bill of fare, with oodles of pizza slices for those who enjoy such things. After work, I drove back to 1 Grand Caymanian (my apartment) with Lisa Lemon (my yellow Subaru Ignis), and after a brie interlude of chillage, set out upon foot to Fidel Murphy's Irish bar for a pint and a spot of cottage pie, which was tasty if not over-enchantingly so. The bar itself was pretty dead too, but just as I was about to leave and head home enwrapped in despondency, I received a Blackberry mailing from JP, ushering me to a free bar up the road where his girlfriend is performing (for she is a dancer of great note and acclaim on this fair isle). So within 20 minutes, I am enjoying a number of glasses of white wine at Vivendi cabaret club, courtesy of Ernst & Young, whose employees were gathered there for a night of raffles, hypnotists, dancing and free booze. After the show, there was much mingling with said E&Y employees, and naturally it turns out that many of them were from Ireland (including Sadhbh, Frank and Aisling), the UK, US, South Africa and Canada.

JP also awarded me an E&Y wristband entitling free entrance to Elements nightclub upstairs, so we all piled up there and were going ape en masse to Party Rock Anthem within minutes. he club was very impressive - a couple of floors, great choons, excellent podium dancers (of whom Gretchen was one), 4 poster beds by the side of the dance-floor and drinks aplenty, although unfortunately they saw fit to charge CAY$8 (€7) for  vodka and red-bull - boo-urns! All-a-sudden, 'twas 3am, when the music stops, and the bouncers hunted everyone out of the place at speed, a la United Kingdom style.  I asked a taxi-lady outside how much to go home - wen she said $15, I said I'd walk, but minutes later she pulled up beside me on the street and brought me home for $5 - whoop whoop! Negotiation always pays, kids!


Oh so it's an Ultra-Lounge, not a nightclub - what *was* I thinking?

Contentment : 17 / 25
Excitement :    3.5 / 10
Memorability : 4 / 15

Overall Score : 49%  (38th out of 196)

Day 195 - Thursday, July 14th, 2011

Some random notes to impart about Grand Cayman island thusfar - the chicken seems to be the national pet, as they wander around everywhere, apparently untended. I nearly drove up the arse of another car when passing a Kentucky Fried Chicken shop when I saw two roosters parading nonchalantly outside, oblivious to their possible impending doom within. The native Caymanians speak with distinctly Caribbean accents, which shouldn't have been surprising, given that it is located in.....the Caribbean. So Cayman is pronounced CayMAN.


Further joyous news greeted my arrival home from work this evening, as the apartment now has fully-functioning air-con in all rooms - cool, quite literally. Such momentousness was celebrated with the adding of peanut butter and Philadelphia cheese to slices of brown bread, seperate slices naturlich. And this was to prove sufficient for the evening meal, given that I had pigged out for a 12th day in a row with another Bacchanalian luncheon feast courtesy of Maples FS.


Chicken Crazy In Cayman!

Contentment : 16 / 25
Excitement :    2 / 10
Memorability : 1 / 15

Overall Score : 38% (98th out of 195)

Day 194 - Wednesday, July 13th, 2011

After a poor night's sleep, things could only get better and that they rapidly did, starting with a lift into work from colleague Gary, followed by an excellent breakfast of banana, fruit salad, muffin and orange juice in the cafe yards across the road from work. HR promised that they would get the Air Con fixed, although I wan't convinced that it would be fixable. Karen introduced me to all the staff and it seems like yet another friendly Maples office!

Best of all, at lunchtime a (free!) daily buffet is served in the staff kitchen, with a choice of 2 hot mains (both if you like), rice, vegetables, soup, extensive salad bar and sandwiches - ace! This went out with the boom several years but not here! A driver came to collect me to go to the car rental place and I signed up for a luxuriant yellow Subaru Ignis hairdryer! Well, it'll get me from A to B and back, which will do very nicely, and it also has excellent air-con and pumps out dance choons on the radio from Spin FM.

Yes, I am harping on about air-con a lot but it is hot hot hot here, and 100% humid, so it feels like you are entering an open-air furnace when stepping outside. After work I drove to Kirk's supermarket - a large Tesco-sized affair, and a good place to sample how costly goods are here. €2 for a tin of Heinz Baked Beans? That'll give you an idea. Because the rate of income tax is 0%, the price of goods in general seems to try to do its best to compensate. €85 for 3 bags of shopping later and I was on my way back to the apartment, where to my surprise, the aircon was working in the bedroom, though the living room and kitchen remained steam-room-esque.

Dinner was enjoyed in Ristorante Casanova - about a 10-15 minute walk away. The food was excellent - caprese salad, pollo corovado (pasta chicken) and an excellent tiramisu. There was a resident harpist too, going round each table and knocking out some relatively modern classics such as Unchained Melody with brilliance. Unfortunately he only played for about 30 minutes, and then the CD player took over - as I left, "Time To Say Goodbye" was being played for the actual EIGHTH time - they couldn't do it better in nearby Guantanamo Bay!

A Pirate Party ship coming into dock as I strolled to dinner

Contentment  : 16 / 25

Excitement :     3 / 10

Memorability : 3.5 / 15

Overall Score : 45% (50th out of 194)

Memorability :

Day 193 - Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

The day began with an emotional final smoothie before a few hours' work in the Montreal office. At 11am, via a quick dash back to the hotel for luggage, it was off by taxi to the airport and a very pleasant 4 hour flight to Miami with American Airlines. Very pleasant because it was equipped with Wi-fi, so cue lots of amusing messages and interactions on FaceBook from 34,000 feet up. They were showing just one film - Rango, which I had seen before but watched some of it again as it was quite the hoot.

There was a 3-hour stopover in Miami Airport, which seemed very pleasant, apart from the plethora of affected pre-teen girls that were wandering around in their high heels and screeching the words "like" and "super-nice" repeatedly into their mobile phones. Is it wrong to wish to impale such creatures on iron spikes? Yes, you're right, it possibly might be.

A Caribbean restaurant was visited for dinner, with my first taste of Conch in the form of Conch Fritters, which weren't fantastic - maybe it was just that particular place, but conch appears to have the consistency of vulcanized calamari. The Jerk Chicken burger and fries were tasty though.

The AA (American Airlines as opposed to Alcoholics Anonymous or Automobile Association) flight to Grand Cayman boarded on time, but was delayed for 20 minutes whilst the doors were re-opened for an extended family who forgot to board the first time. The short 70 minute flight afforded fine sunset views over Cuba before landing in Cayman at 7.30pm.

Immigration and customs, notoriously slow in Cayman, took just about 20 minutes, which could have been worse. My boss Karen very kindly came to collect me, even though I was due to pick up a rental car - she must have foreseen that the rental office had already closed. After an hour in the office, we arrived at my apartment for the month, only to discover high heel shoes and drapery-loads of clothing all over the place upon entry - Leah from the Dublin office had been there for a few days and was due to stay until Saturday and neither of us had any idea that the other would be there, especially Leah, given the cucumber face-mask that she was wearing! Add the fact that the air con was not working, making it a boilingly humid 90 degrees inside, and one has a pretty disastrous introduction to the island on one's hands!

At least the apartment has 2 bedrooms, so Leah cleared her things from one of them, allowing the unpacking process to occur, although it was a tentative one, given the lack of desire to stay there much longer.

 
A verdant palmy walkway from the plane to immigration

Contentment : 12 / 25
Excitement :    2.5 / 10
Memorability : 5.5 / 15

Overall Score : 40% (83rd out of 193)
 

Day 192 - Monday, July 11th, 2011

The Nice Young Smoothie Girl's heart soared with joy (in my mind) when I walked in this morning, as we had poignantly bade each other farewell on Friday, but Cayman bureaucracy has ensured at two more meets, for it was confirmed that my paperwork has now come through and I will depart here early tomorrow afternoon. The awesome multi-ethnic shopping mall food court was visited for the last time of the journey, signing off with some tasty Singapore chicken noodles.

After work, I roamed the streets choosing the most suitable restaurant for The Last Montreal Supper, and chose an urban-style Italian with many good review extracts trumpeted on its front window. The Insalata Caprese was good but the pasta with basil and pine nuts that followed was a gloopy mess that was about 90% green tasteless sauce. I left at least three-quarters of it, deliberately prompting the waiter to ask was it good - I said no, it was far too saucy, but he said that was the style, even though it didn't hint at that on the menu. No tip for him, then.

Back to the Omni for a 9th and final night's sleep in their very comfortable bed - a 10th would have given me a free night in any of their hotels, but who knows, maybe it will happen sometime in the future.



Farewell to The Omni

Contentment : 15.5 / 25

Excitement :    2 / 10
Memorability : 2 / 15

Overall Score : 39% (86th out of 192)

Day 191 - Sunday, July 10th, 2011

Chez Cora yesterday was so good that I decided to go again, although the sheen was slightly wiped off with slower service (waiting over 30 minutes for an omelette) and a choice of omelette - the Western (ham, tomato, onions, peppers) that was tasty but not as much as the Theo yesterday.

Afterwards I walked into McGill University campus, and lingered there a while in the sun, reading the newspaper and watching the world go by. I then took a long walk and caught the Metro from Sherbrooke out to the ageing Olympic Stadium and its neighbour, the BioDome, where I met up with Mark and Jody for a wander through its various themed natural habitat areas - spotted in close range were a pair of very agitated lynxes (they smelt food, I think), a capybura (the largest rodent species in the world), beavers, turtles, otters, parrots, monkeys, poisonous toads, ultra-cute puffins and some very lethargic looking penguins.

Back downtown, a new country of cuisine was added to the Montreal list with a visit to Indian joint Allo Inde, run by a lecherous condescending gentleman who got an order wrong at another table and tried to tell them it was their fault, and seemed to enjoy grunting orders at what seemed to be his daughter. He reckoned that I wouldn't know the difference between the beers that he had on tap so delightfully he was most vexed when I let him know that I had enjoyed Cobra beer many times before. He had a priceless sour-lemon look when he enquired how was my Chicken Vindaloo, which had been ordered to be as spicy as possible and I told him that it was tasty, but was never as spicy as desired - it packed a good punch though in fairness. Great food, twat of a proprietor.

Stade Olympique de Montreal

Here fishy fishy

Contentment :  17.5 / 25

Excitement :     3.5 / 10

Memorability :  4 / 15

Overall Score : 50% (29th out of 191)

Day 190 - Saturday, July 9th, 2011

After a leisurely lie in, I used Google maps to seek out the nearest Chez Cora for brunch (as it had been highly recommended by Austin and Joanne), and it was just about a 20 minute walk away. After a brief wait for a table (due to it being packed, always a good sign), my order was taken and soon I was enjoying Omelette Theo (with cheese, broccoli, peppers, mushrooms, onions, carrot, cauliflower and spinach, so that instatly took care of the 5-a-day requirement, with something to spare), home fries, fruit, malt toast, fresh orange juice and decaff coffee - cracking!

What better way to work part of that off than with a trek up the Mont Royal, reachable from the city centre by foot and hundreds of steps, making for a very decent work-out especially given the 28 Celsius sun. The reward atop was a fantastic view of the city and the Saint Laurence river, and a delightfully easy descent, sniggering (inwardly) at the dozens of panting ascendant individuals.

I then met up with Mark and we headed out by Metro to the Hippodrome, a specially constructed 80,000 capacity stadium for U2's concerts here, the other of which was last night. After meeting the chappie who sold us tickets at face value ($70/€52) for tonight's sold-out show, we settled into the fan area outside, enjoying a few beers in the hot summer sun. We headed in at about 7.30pm and caught the end of Interpol who were pretty poor if truth be told - one of these bands who are too cool for school to interact with the crowd, so their set was tame and lifeless, and the crowd barely knew they were there. At 9.15pm, the crowd go wild as the quartet emerge to deliver a brilliant 2-hour show featuring hits from all their albums (even Zooropa). As ever, Bono knew how to please the crowd, by delivering some chat in the language of the overwhelmingly francophone crowd.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inrGpwwVmMQ

The stage (called The Claw) was impressive, spawning the name of this tour : 360 degrees as was the lighting. Incredibly it is nearly 24 years since I first saw them live - in Cork's Pairc Ui Chaoimh (with UB40 as the brilliant support) - I'm still grateful to my parents for trusting me to go there, on my own, aged 15. A quarter century later, U2 are impressively as enjoyable as ever. The public transport worked very well afterwards, and we were back Downtown well within an hour, and having eaten nothing since Chez Cora, an emergency visit to McDonald's was required, where a Big Mac Meal and a McFlurry were wolfed down.

Chez Cora, for the best breakfast in Montreal



Intrepid mountaineer Damo atop the summit of challenging Mont Royal 

The Claw By Day

The Claw By Night

Contentment : 19 / 25

Excitement :    4.5 / 10

Memorability : 6.5 / 15

Overall : 60% (3rd out of 190)