Day 17 - Monday, January 17th, 2011

The bugler's reveille trumpeted at an unusually early 6.15am, signalling the start of a magical journey to the mystical tropical isle of Guernsey. Mr. Taximan was waiting promptly at the gates of the Lighthouse, and whisked me promptly to the Airport in less than 15 minutes via the Port Tunnel. At check-in, I was informed that no bags had been paid for, so I had to decide between sacrificing my full Sure deodorant can, half-full Shockwaves Hair Gel, quarter-full No. 7 face scrub and full No. 7 shaving gel, or pay €148 to check in the bag. Yes, €148 - four plane legs at €37 each, and even though I would have been fully entitled to claim the money back on expenses, I said eff that for a game of soldiers. I chanced my arm and put the toiletries to the security scan test, but they failed miserably and were unceremoniously dumped by one of the delightfully surly security blokes. "Ya shoulda knawn dah," he said helpfully. "I DID know, but gave it a try anyway, you tool," I replied, uttering the last two words silently, and without lip-movement.

Straight to Boots then to stock up on 50ml deodorant, 70ml shaving gel and 50ml hair gel - all by Trevor Sorbie, and a veritable snip at €7.83, and including - yay! - yet another €7.50 Boots voucher! First leg of the journey was to Southampton, in a Flybe Dehavilland Hair-dryer, seating 78 people. The plane was about two-thirds full, so I had a double seat to myself. The journey afforded fine views of East Wall and the docklands, then Wicklow, then fluffy clouds, then Southampton.

                          Look! It's the Harp bridge! And the East Link Bridge! And my gaff!

                                                     The Enchanting Southampton Docks

With an hour stop-over at Southampton airport, I treated myself to a slap-up vegetarian breakfast, featuring vegetarian sausage (too much batter on the outside, nice mashed veg on the inside), scrambled eggs, beans, grilled tomato and hash brown - saucy at £7.95 if it were not in an airport, where prices are allowed to be as high as I was over the Irish Sea 30 minutes ago. Onwards aboard another FlyBe hair-dryer and a quick 40 minute hop skip and jump to Guernsey, and thanks to the waiting Graham The Taximan, I'm in the Northern Trust Guernsey office by 11.30am.

The NT Guernsey crew are a friendly bunch and I am made to feel very welcome. Each cubicle seems to possess a full giant tin of Roses/Celebrations/Quality Street - always a sign of a convivial atmosphere. I quickly get settled into work at my desk, which overlooks the St. Peter Port harbourside. Time flies by, and soon Graham the Taximan is on hand again to transport me to my hotel - the St. Pierre Park - about 10 minutes' drive away. It's a nice homely 4-star affair, one I sussed out myself for £60 per night, as the work travel agency's best effort was £160 per night in another 4-star hotel. No expenses scandal on view here, I tells ya!

After unpacking, I head downstairs to register my first gym visit of the year, and rack up 3km on the rowing machine, 4km on the bike, some time on the cross-trainer, polished off by some steam-roomage - quality! Dinner has well and truly been earned - scallops for starters, then ultra-fresh sea-bass, with the finale of a raspberry roulade - bleedin' d'lish!

                            Edgy, brilliant, poignant, totally non-pointless photo of me in my hotel room

Contentment : 12.5 / 25
Excitement   :  3.5 / 10
Memorability : 4.5 / 15

Overall Score : 41% (6th out of 17)